"I am honestly amazed at the things you do. My mom is the same way. Do you think there’s any chance I’ll ever be able to do that much around the house, and make so much great food, all in one day? I WANT to be a good housewife (when I’m home) and I don’t even know where to start!!"
Okay:
You gotta remember that I'm (almost) old!
I don't have little kids to chase after anymore, and I don't work anywhere else but here.
I think that if all you working women/ women with children under 20 made a list of the things you do in a day you'd be shocked and amazed at how productive you are.
I used to do that some days, just to keep perspective.
In two ways: I'd either make a list of all things I wanted to do, and then cross them off the list as I went, OR (my favourite way when I was feeling particularly unproductive)
Every time I did something (be it wipe a nose, wash a dish, sweep a floor... cook something etc.) I'd write it down. You know, making a list as I went.
At the end of the day, when it felt like I hadn't accomplished anything of lasting value, I would look at my list, read it through and cross everything off. Somehow, seeing that I HAD been busy made it easier to look at the pile of laundry that hadn't been washed or the floor that hadn't been mopped.
What I'm saying is cut yourselves some slack.
Motherhood is something that our husbands- people even, for the most part, don't understand. I know there are exceptions to every rule, but many times it feels like "they" don't get that motherhood/ housewife-hood has to include things like kissing it better and holding her until it stops hurting ... wiping up the spilled milk... looking at the bugs... laughing at the jokes... listening to the stories... reading the book out loud... watching the show... rubbing the back... holding the bucket... letting him "help" make the cookies ... playing play-dough... building Lego houses... dressing Barbies...
There's much more to "being at home" then meets the eye.
And most of you are trying to "be all that" AND work somewhere else full or part time as well.
I promise you, if I had another job too, I wouldn't be baking and cooking and preserving like I am now.
So,
Keep doing what you're doing. DON'T compare yourself to me! Remember that this is all I do. And I'm only able to do what I do because I don't have to be out there doing all that you do too.
And stopping to smell the roses or listen to the wind rustle the leaves in the trees?
It goes on the list.
Thanks, Lauralea. That sure puts things into perspective. I like the "writing down everything as you do them" idea - especially when it somes to crossing them off at night! That's a great idea. So, eventhough I sometimes feel like I am failing at everything, chances are, I'm not.
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy smelling the roses, and taking the pictures, and admiring the rain. I need those things on my list.
I needed to hear that right this second. I did too much yesterday, even though I was sick (I could feel myself getting feverish as I scrubbed the floor). And today I'm exhausted. And did I mention my dad finally got me a bunch of office work? He brought it over the DAY I GOT SICK!
ReplyDeleteAnd then I start thinking bad things about myself and then the kids start complaining about me, and Luke coloured in pen on the new (albeit $2.99) tablecloth I just put on last night, and there I was in tears after lunch. (And am in tears now.)
Sometimes it feels like there are so many demands and so many expectations, and what I end up doing the poorest is the gentleness and the love.
Anyway, I'm going to go colour with the kids now and spend some good time with them. Screw the office work, at least for now. Maybe I'll have the energy for it when Olivia's down for her nap again.
Hey, (almost) old brings wisdom that should be shared. When are you going to write the book ?
ReplyDeleteAnd please tell me that, even though you are a wise woman, you sometimes find yourself checking out friends blogs at 10.30 at night in an attempt to postpone doing the ironing.
ReplyDeleteGotta go - a pressing appointment is calling.
Absolutely, Rachel!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that there are some stay at home Moms. I still have people asking me what I do for a living. Then I get, "Oh, a woman of leisure, are you?" I even feel that my h. thinks I am useless.
ReplyDeletethere are some days tho' that I'm pretty sure I do nothing. Today will be categorized under one of those days...
ReplyDeleteOK.
ReplyDeleteAnd considering that from the moment that the first child is born, until such time as the last child leaves home we are pretty much on call 24/7...
A "do nothing" day once in awhile is MORE than justified!
Feeling guilty? Start adding up the hours from the day you became a mother. At "normal" job sites employees generally get coffee breaks and lunch breaks... I really don't think guilt is allowed.
...and at a normal jobsite, workers typically get at least 2 weeks of PAID vacation per year when they can have those 'do-nothing' days as well.... so I think all us SAHM's should be allowed at least 10 'do-nothing' days throughout the year, and of course, should earn more days with more experience and years on the 'job'. :)
ReplyDelete