And you've been walking from me ever since that day
I'm proud of you. You're making your way very well
And though I wouldn't turn the clock back there are moments
When I miss your pudgy hand; the way it held my fingers
When I'd give my soul to feel your arms around my neck again
When the house is far too quiet and no radio or TV
Can replace the sound of children's voices; angry shouts, joyful squeals
Laughter
And the quietness becomes oppressive and a burden
Would I change things? Do I wish I hadn't done my job so well?
The inevitable outcome is that you move ever further away
Your circle grows until I, from being the centre of your world,
Become a figure on the fringes
Watching now but unable to shield you from the wind
My umbrella turned inside out; useless and unable to keep you dry anymore
Wait! You forgot your jacket! Your lunch! One more hug! I love you too!
And then the bus crests the hill and bears down on you
You climb into the car
Pass through security with your shoes off
Board the bus
And I wave you out of sight
We are always their mothers...we just have to learn to 'mother' them differently. That transition time of trying to figure out who we are now that they travel the path away from us is a difficult one. Some days it seems I'm doing a fine job and other days I'm still trying to figure it all out.
ReplyDeleteSome days I'm rejoicing in my new life...and other days struggling.
Life seems to fly along at it's own pace and we hang on wishing it would slow down a bit...and it doesn't.
Sometimes, often in fact, I know I have moved out of the centre of their lives, and then without warning they pick me up and put me right back there. Then I protest. They cramp my style now. Don't they know I've grown too? So they let me go again and go on their merry ways, in their own circle where they are at the centre for their children.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, at the centre of their circle, I am still there - just a smaller point of focus.
that almost made me cry.
ReplyDelete...yeah.
ReplyDeleteDon't do that to me, Lauralea - I want to freeze time right now...
ReplyDelete